Article by Christophe Lorreyte in a special report on emotions "the fear".
And today, it's the turn of fear to be examined...
Does this idea make you shudder?
Yet, you will see that fear can be an excellent ally... if we get rid of the weight of our history that allows it to control us.
Let's go without further delay?
So have a good read, and don't forget this week's phrase to ponder!
Fear
No matter what we say, we all have a part of fear in us.
However, we are not all equal in front of it: some have tamed it and use it, while it is paralyzing for
So the question arises:
Should we get rid of our fears... or rather overcome them?
Because the difference is gigantic. And that's what we're going to see right now.
a. Understanding and taming your fear
Our relationship with fear is often ambiguous: sometimes we reject it, sometimes we assume it, sometimes we use it to set our limits.
In any case, we would prefer not to have to show it too much! Wouldn't we?
Let's be honest: we often prefer to hide it rather than appear weak.
Because frankly, showing your fear in the age of personal development is not really in the air, if you know what I mean...
And yet it does exist, lurking in the shadows of our subconscious.
Moreover, it is also the cause of a great paradox:
Those who show themselves to be the strongest often hide an immense fear of appearing weak.
So to get out of it, let's accept and assume this component of our lives once and for all: fear is an integral part of human existence.
It is a fact, so let's face it:
Fear is polymorphic. It takes different forms and adapts to the contexts of our modern lives.
It takes the form of anxiety, worries and anticipations, rarely based on reality.
For today, our lives are rarely at stake.
So what do we do with our fears? We would like to fight them so that we don't have to live them anymore, but with this approach we are on the wrong track.
Because to be in the fight is to be in the rejection, in the non acceptance of what is.
And if you have been following me for some time, you know that one of the main highways to a harmonious and balanced life is... the acceptance of all that is.
(Which of course has nothing to do with defeatism. But I think that at this stage of our breaks, I don't need to specify it)
So, if your goal is to fight fear, know that you are creating your own suffering by trying to reject a part of yourself that is only looking to express itself.
Because being strong is not living without fear: it is accepting your vulnerability.
So of course, it is possible to overcome your fears in order to live more freely, without creating mental barriers, and this is what we will see later.
But, to overcome your fears, you must first understand them and be fully aware of them.
Yes, because it is quite simply impossible to face an obstacle without knowing its nature, nor its extent.
The very first step is to observe your fears
I suggest you take a moment to think about this: what are your real fears?
To help you, know that there are two kinds of fears:
- The "superficial" fears, which are on the surface and which we can easily name
- The "deep" fears, which are the hidden face of the iceberg.
Deep fears are imprinted in our unconscious DNA and come from our own history and from various repressions.
On the other hand, superficial fears are often manifestations of these deeper fears.
Let's take a concrete example:
Let's say you are afraid that your partner will meet someone "more interesting than you".
This is the superficial fear, the one you can detect without any problem.
However, it could very well be that this fear is actually hiding a deep fear of abandonment that you are not aware of, for example.
This awareness is a real work on yourself and may even require the help of a psychoanalyst.
However, there is a tool that everyone can use.
Yes... I know you can see where I am going with this.
It's the trampoline!
Hum hum, let's get serious. And instead of making jokes, let's see right now why we can (and should) meditate to stop being afraid.
b. Meditating to find true peace
Now that you understand the difference between fighting and overcoming your fears, let's look at why it's important to break free.
Here's a big problem: Fears condition us.
And this is because they put filters on our reality, in order to "protect" us.
The result? We can end up perceiving danger absolutely everywhere, depending on the setting of our own filters.
To use the example above, your fear of abandonment could result in an extreme distrust of anyone your partner might find interesting.
But what we need to understand is that since the story is created by the deep thought of the person who is afraid, it is unreal.
It simply does not exist, yet it is highly disabling.
And this can go a long way: anxiety, when chronic, can make us physically ill.
But fortunately, meditation is an excellent antidote to fear.
Because fear is an unfortunate projection into the future that is rooted in the past, the solution is to learn to refocus in the here and now.
So, the assiduous practice of meditation allows us to dismantle one by one the bars of the mental prison that is fear, since it makes us understand that only the present really exists.
As the practice progresses, one feels a deep calm settle in, leaving less and less room for anxiety.
And of course, the grip of fear cannot hold against the spirit of meditation.
So I recommend that you meditate so that you will no longer be afraid.
However, please understand that you will not completely get rid of this emotion that is inscribed in each of us.
You may - and will - feel it again, even after years of practice.
However, your fear will have taken on a whole new form and you can use it as a powerful tool.
When you do, you will understand that it is a warning that you are not going in the right direction.
You will then know how to adjust accordingly.
Your fear will have become an expression of your intuition, and no longer your prison.
Now let's take it one step further...
C. Revealing yourself beyond your fears
As human beings, one of the strongest common fears is that of rejection.
Yes, we are commonly afraid of not being recognized by our peers.
Thus, we have a propensity to act in a way that is accepted by a group that is similar to us.
But here's the danger: we all have our own unique definition of what makes a person "acceptable".
We have created this definition based on our history and we act on it, mostly unconsciously.
We therefore put forward the characteristics of our personality that are in accordance with these beliefs, making sure to repress the part of us that might be too "different".
To give you an image, it's a bit like being part of a beautiful flock of white sheep, and desperately trying to hide a clump of black hair that keeps growing back no matter what you do.
This tuft is what distinguishes you from the others and you are afraid of it.
Of course, I'm exaggerating the image on purpose, but not that much...
But then, what would happen if you assumed your black bush?
Fear tells you that you would be rejected.
But what if, on the contrary, it turns out that by assuming yourself, you open the door for others to do so as well?
This is exactly what happens most of the time, because this shared fear suffocates us all.
So, free yourself from it and express your uniqueness!
You know, we don't often realize it, but by cutting us off from the present moment, fear keeps us from being creative.
Therefore, to be creative, you must be connected to the present moment in order to be inspired by it.
Yes, in order to create, we must be able to settle into the here and now so that the ideas can manifest themselves. And you have to be able to let go.
Unfortunately, anxiety takes us away from this state and it is through meditation that we can touch this way of being again.
Freed from yesterday and tomorrow, we find the confidence to move forward, anchored in the life that is happening now.
So, if you haven't already, does this make you want to meditate to stop being afraid?
Believe me, if you have too much fear in your life, through the practice of meditation you will clearly see a before... and an after.
For I can promise you the following:
You have all the strength you need within you to move forward in peace, so grab it!
